Stirring up the memory fires!

Ok! I know it is time to write when everything I read brings to mind something from my past that no one knows about other than myself and maybe my family.
So, here goes, a few memories of my own. Will add other installments when I have some free time.

Cooking.....my Grandmother was a great cook. She loved to make all of our favorite goodies whenever we would visit her, which was not often enough. Gram lived in a tiny little house that my Grandfather built, right on the banks of the Delaware River. That tiny house had an even tinier kitchen, and Gram had ALOT of stuff in there. When we would come to see her, the top of the refrigerator would be PILED up with all kinds of baked goodies. My dad's favorite red velvet cake, my mom's favorite cheesecake, my favorite Boston cream pie, my two brothers' favorite desserts and my two sisters' favorites too. The refrigerator itself was stuffed with so much food, all of it yummy and things my own Mom never made for us. Don't get me wrong, my mother is a great cook, but GRAM, she was in a class all by herself. Everything was homemade, everything was a work of art and Gram always remembered what each of us liked. I think she must have taken notes or something, because we could count on what we loved being there when we came to visit. We never lived near Gram, always at least a couple of states away, and sometimes years would go by between visits but when we came, she was ready for us.

One year, my parents, my 3 kids and I went to see Gram. We were on a road trip from Colorado to New York state in an rv. Now, this itself might sound like a nightmare, 3 generations in a tiny motorhome going across country, but it was actually wonderful and one of my fondest memories. My kids were 10, 11 and 12 years old. It was not the first time they had ever been to my Gram's house, but they had gone as little children on the previous visits so this was probably the first time they actually were aware of how tiny Gram's house was. Sure enough, when we arrived, there was all that FOOD.
Two days after our arrival was the small town of Narrowsburg, New York's annual 4th of July carnival, parade and festivities. This holiday is the biggest one of the year for my Gram's tiny town. There were bake sales and picnics to attend and participate in, so we got busy making even MORE FOOD. My Grandmother's kitchen began to feel even smaller. I think it was probably the size of your average bathroom. I'm not kidding. There was the kitchen sink, with about enough counter space on one side to hold a dish rack for drying dishes, then the refrigerator, a corner, then a doorway leading to the hallway, on the other side of the doorway was a tiny, tiny stand alone counter/cupboard and Gram's little stove, the apartment size kind not a big stove. Then a corner and along the wall across from the sink was a little tiny table. Usually only two people could sit at this table, and you had to pull it away from the corner to even have two people sit. Then from that corner was the door to the screen porch/mudroom and the back door. When people were sitting at the table if someone walked from the back door to the hallway doorway, you either got a butt shoved up against the sink and refrigerator and the front of you smashed against the back of someone's chair or whoever was at the table had to stand up and move out of the kitchen to let you pass. Gram kept all her dishes and appliances in the screen porch or down in the cellar because the kitchen didn't have any room. The little counter near the stove was moveable, but generally didn't move. It was full of Gram's various vitamins, pills and spices. There was no room to really hold anything else, except maybe the toaster or blender when in use. The rest of the time those appliances where kept in the screen porch. So, if you have a picture in your mind of this tiny space, you can maybe appreciate what a feat it was to even cook in that kitchen, let alone make such wonderful creations. Add to this, my Gram was not a little person. Well, she was little, as in short, but she was probably as wide as she was tall. For some reason, whenever anyone came over, they always sat in her kitchen at that tiny table. Sometimes with even 4 people, which meant you really could not move unless everyone stood up and the drop leaf was dropped, and the chairs were moved. Why all the adults hung out there instead of Gram's huge living room with windows that looked out on the river and nice chairs and couches with room to stretch is beyond my imagination.
Ok, back to making all this FOOD. Two days after the 4th of July we were due to proceed on our RV trip up to Niagra Falls and across Canada and back to Colorado. We had been to several picnics and family gatherings and of course the annual 4th of July Carnival. Each place we went to, we brought food, and we also ate food, and for some reason we seemed to bring food back with us to Gram's. But one thing we had not gotten to eat was Gram's famous cheesecake. Gram had made a couple, took one to the bake sale that raised funds for the volunteer Fire Department and the other one went with us to Aunt June and Uncle Sal's house for a huge feast. By the time we got to the dessert table, there was not a crumb left of Gram's cheesecake. This was just not cool. Gram told us she would make one for our trip. She sent Aunt June and me out in search of some cream cheese, as Gram only had one block left and her cheesecake requires two packages of philadelphia cream cheese. Gram had all the other ingredients. So Aunt June and I went to the local store. The day after 4th of July, there was no cream cheese left, and there would not be more for a few days when the next shipment of groceries came in. We hit every store in town (2, this a tiny town) and had to proceed to the next town in our search for cream cheese. Well, after traveling 30 MILES from Gram's house, we finally found some cream cheese. Aunt June was only going to buy one package but I suggested she go ahead and get two, who knew when there would be more cream cheese since there seemed to be such a huge shortage. After all, Aunt June and I had probably hit 6 or more stores by this time.
We headed back to Gram's with cream cheese in hand and Gram proceeded to show me how she makes her famous cheese cake. She mixes half of each ingredient in her blender, pours it into the spring form pan and then mixes the other half and adds it to the first half. This is because your average blender can't accomodate all of the ingredients at once. I got the honors. Gram and my parents and Aunt June sat at the tiny table, and I climbed over and around everyone and filled the blender. Gram reached over and turned it on. I hadn't tightened the bottom correctly. Cheese cake stuff flew all over the room. All over the people, all over that tiny counter with the pills and vitamins and all down the side of the stove. I was laughing so hard I couldn't turn the blender off. Gram was swearing like a sailor. It tooks us hours to clean that stuff up. In fact, my mom said if Gram was still here she would probably still be finding bits of cheesecake makings. Gram was determined to still make our cheesecake. By this time it was late at night and we were going to leave the next day, so we weren't going to taste that cheesecake until we were actually on the road. Gram was glad that we had opted to buy an extra cream cheese, as she needed it. Gram whipped up her two blenders full of stuff, baked the cheesecake, and somehow cramed it into the refrigerator. I think by the time we set off the next day, she was probably glad to get us out of her hair. At least it seemed that way.
At lunch time we pulled over on the side of the road, to eat some of the great stuff Gram had sent with us, potato salad, macaroni salad, all kinds of stuff. Finally it was time to eat that cheese cake. My mom and I each took a forkfull. I can't remember if we actually spit it out or what, but I do remember it was AWFUL. I still don't know what ingredient Gram left out. I think it was only left out in one of the two batches. Probably sugar, I really don't know, I just know that was her worst cheesecake ever. My mom and I didn't finish our pieces, but my dad and my kids ate every bit of what Gram had made. They seemed not to notice the missing ingredient. We never told Gram.

They grow up TOO fast

Eating birthday cake with Daddy. Happy 3rd Birthday Micah! Cousins and a friend making sand angels!

Is that a monkey in that tree?

U'iLani, 7, reading a book to her cousin Micah, 3.

Micah and U'i up in the loft bed over the stage!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life...

Not sure why that phrase keeps going through my mind....but it is true! I've had that thought often and the other night I had a dream that has stuck with me too. In this dream I realized that unless I live to be older than 108, I've already lived more than half my life. Now, this is true too, but I realized it in my dream.

Maybe after a certain age, most people start thinking this way, but for myself, this is a first. I'm not sure why I never thought this way, I've been around death, people dying and even faced close encounters with death. I've thought often about other people dying...my parents, my son, various relatives, even some of my friends. My own death has not registered with me until now.

I even went so far as to tell David that if something should happen to me, I want a do not resusitate order. I don't want to be hooked up to machines and drain my life and a ton of money away. I just want to die when it is time, don't prolong it. I'm ready. I know where I'm going after this life. I know my family, my friends all have been told that I love them, that I appreciate them. I do need to clean the closets, I don't want anyone else to have to go through that crap, but all in all, I'm ready. I won't be leaving much behind, just some memories, I've got nothing material to leave.

All this thinking about death has made me wonder if I will be missed, if I ever touched anyone to make a lasting imprint.

I've also thought about people like Grandma Moses. She was much older than I am when she found her niche. My own Great Grandma learned to crotchet when she was 80, for the next 16 years she crotched like a possessed person. We all have afghans, pillow cases, toilet paper roll covers, etc, made by my Great Grandma. I think of her every time I see those things she made.

I have other things people made for me that cause me to think of them. Objects my children made. Gifts friends made. Pictures. Even sayings, phrases that stick with me, that made a difference. Some songs, some poems, some books and some stories that people I know wrote or sang or shared with me.

Today I heard from someone that sat behind me in grade school. His name is Herb. He found me on facebook and wrote to me. It was strange because last week I found a drawing he had given me, I think it was in 5th grade, though I first met him in 3rd grade. This drawing was a caricature of me. If my friends saw it today, they would still know it is me. It shows my big smile, the one I hate because my gums show and my teeth look big and my eyes are so crinkled up that you can barely see them. That is my real smile, the one I make when I am laughing out loud, the one I make when I'm not thinking about anyone looking.

Anyway, back to Herb, he wrote me today and this is how he titled his post
.....I'm not pulling your hair anymore.....
I didn't even have to see the name, I knew who wrote that! Herb went on to write that he had been on an online reunion with some people from Jefferson Elementary School. He had written a contribution about me! He then cut and pasted his contribution and sent it to me. It told how this girl, Kathy, sat in front of him and how I had long blonde hair that draped all over his desk. This is true, as my hair was long enough to sit on. I used to comb it all around my head and put little wire rimmed glasses on and I looked just like Cousin It from the Adams family!
Back to Herb. He reiterated how he used to pull one strand of hair out of my head at a time, trying to get my attention. Apparently my hair just fell out and the only time he could get my attention was if he pulled a handful of hair out at a time. He said that I was always nice to him, even when he was being a pest.

Little does Herb know, I had a crush on him. He was kind of a "bad" boy. The kind of kid who grew up to be a biker. The kind of kid who wore his hair long even when we had a dress code. Who never seemed to have his shirt tucked in, even when the dress code said that boys were not allowed to show the tails of their shirts. I do know he was (and still is) one of the smartest, most talented people I ever met. I have thought of him often over the years, wondering what happened to him.
I remember one time Herb made this little shrunken head, I think from an apple. It was adorned with hair that he pulled out of my head! It looked realistic, like an actual shrunken head!

I also recall the time that I went up to the front of the class to give a speech. The entire class was laughing at me. I had no idea why, as I hadn't even started to talk. Someone pointed to an area behind me. I turned around and saw that Herb had tied several strands of my hair end to end, and attached it to my head, and on the very end was a ball of maybe silly putty or maybe chewing gum or something like that. When I was walking that little ball was bouncing along behind me. It was funny, I even was able to laugh about it at the time.

I'm glad that Herb wrote to me today, I think that email might just have been my highlight of the week!

Ok, while hubby is "busy on the bedpan" I'm gonna blog...hehe

Its been awhile since I actually sat down and wrote anything. The past months have been busy, busy and this past week we've been sick at our house. The dreaded flu, the kind where you sit on the toilet and stuff is coming out both ends so you have to hold a bucket to puke in at the same time. YUCKKK!
I've recently re-opened my ebay store after a two year hiatus. I have a ton of stuff to sell and am going to be listing stuff daily. If you want to check it out, remember it is in the construction stage. http://stores.ebay.com/808-deals YAYE!
News on the homefront: Boddhi turned 35 on Monday, May 3! My baby boy. He is living in Convington, KY and his daughter Maya will be joining him on May 20 for at least the summer if not permanently. YAYE!
Jeremy and Hannah and Micah will be arriving in Hawaii on May 25th for a month long stay. YAYE! Can't wait to see number 1 son and wife and only (so far) grandson! YAYE!
Rachel is doing well, but looking for another job. If you are interested in hiring her she has an MBA. Meanwhile, she goes to work every day at a job site that she hates. I feel for her but am glad that at least she HAS a job as her employer just laid off hundreds if not thousands of people. She was lucky not to be included in that number. YAYE!
U'iLani, the grand daughter who lives next door, will turn 7 on the 7th of this month! YAYE! Where has the time gone, she is growing way TOO fast! Heck she is almost as tall as I am already. As always she continues to amaze us with her many talents. She is a blue belt in Karate now, she did miss a huge karate meet on Sunday due to puking her guts out all Saturday night. That was a disappointment for her as it was to be her debut in team kata, which was the debut of her dojo's first team also. So sad she missed that as she worked so hard for that event. Oh, well, there is always next time. Meanwhile, she is still excelling in school, now reading at 5th grade level in the first grade! YAYE!!!
David...the hubby...is doing well. He now volunteers 3 days a week at the army museum here in Honolulu at Fort DeRussey. YAYE! He is meeting tons of old farts who are now on his emailing list and all of them are busy sending out jokes to each other. Actually this new outlet has been a literal life saver for David, it is the first time in years that he has not been wallowing in depression, but has a new lease on life. DOUBLE YAYE!! I'm so happy that he is doing this. Who would have thought that someone in a wheelchair, with multiple health problems could be volunteer security to a museum! YAYE. Fun to hear him come home and tell us how he met Colonel so and so or General so and so and now they are on his email list! Plus all the tourist visitors he has met from all over the world. Several have sent him police and firemen patches and other memorabilia after finding out that he collects these things. Very cool. YAYE!!!
Now, about me. I've been paddling with the outrigger canoe club. Usually 2 or 3 times a week. It is way fun. But hard! I'm sore...but happy. Meeting new friends and getting out on the water. YAYE! I've also been discovering old friends thru facebook! Even finding family members that I had lost track of! YAYE. Last week when Uncle Chuck passed away, my mom found 2 cousins that she had not talked to in over 50 years. I talked to friends I had not talked to in 20+ years. Yesterday I found 2 other cousins that our family had lost track of over the years. These two cousins didn't even know about the 5 kids my parents had, they only knew that somewhere they had an Uncle Jack they had never met. I am actually the only one in the family who had ever met these two, I saw them once when I was 15 and they were 5 and 2. Anyway, due to facebook and the internet, our family is slowly getting reconnected. YAYE!!!
Today, I talked to an ebay blogger friend that I've "known" for over 3 years. This was our first phone conversation. YAYE! The fact that we had never talked was my fault, she gave me her number years ago. I've just never been one to like talking on the phone. This past year I've changed that. I decided that I should overcome my phone phobia and TALK to people, get that real connection..if not in person, at least over the phone. It was cool to hear her voice. To hear her kids in the background. To feel connected even more than I have. YAYE!
Ok, the bedpan is ready to be emptied and I have actually had time to blog. YAYE!!!

My heart is sad today, Rest in Peace, Uncle Chuck

Last night a great man went home to be with Jesus. Uncle Chuck touched my life as few have ever done. He battled Parkinson's disease for over 2o years, and the past year it was particulary hard, he went into a nursing home. My tears are not for him, he is in a much better place, my tears are for me and for the people he left behind. I'm thankful for the time we had with him.

I wonder if this means I need to put on makeup???

David (hubby) gets a new eye tomorrow. Ok, he gets a cataract removed, but it is like a new eye because he can see NOTHING out of that eye. Do I have to start combing my hair and putting on makeup? Do I have to wear something besides jammies now? I was thinking this was a good thing, but now I'm wondering............................

GOOD NEWS today!!!!

Today my husband received approval to have FREE cataract surgery! This is great because he has been blind in one eye for over 5 years. He only has Medicare insurance and what our co-pay was for that surgery was more than we have been able to afford. We recently were told about a group of doctors that does needed eye surgery for free for qualifying patients. They only do this once a year and today was the first day they were seeing people to figure out who would be getting their free services. So, we left early this morning, saw a total of 4 different eye doctors, got everything checked including ultra sound on his eyes and now David has an appointment on March 18th for this surgery.

Last week he got a special coupon from the Gerentology Center for wheelchair repairs. This is enabling him to get new batteries, tires and arm rests for his chair which would have cost us about $1200 and we are getting this FREE.

Some of you may know Shartey / Nigel (from ebay blogs) and may remember her writing about praying a certain kind of prayer. I started doing this, though I still haven't read that book that tells about it, but essentially the prayer is for the Lord's blessings. I don't pray specific things anymore, just for HIS blessings and I thank Him for blessings He has already given. I have no idea if I am doing this the right way, but ever since I have been doing this, things have been happening. I know that these free services are directly because of those prayers. I know that the Lord will continue to pour His blessings upon my family and that our needs will be met. Anyway, I'm excited to see what comes next and how the Lord will choose to bless us!